Changes

Changes
Landslide by Stevie Nicks

One of the lyrics in this song sets me to thinking about my life. She sings "I'm getting older too"

I know what she means. I feel some days like I have lived a long time. Well, 63 years is a long time, especially for a 5 year old. For my granddaughter, that makes me very, very old! To my mother-in-law, that is not so long. She is 87. She feels old too. But then, talking to the last remaining veteran of World War I a year ago, 87 is not old. He was 104.

We all get older. Some days I feel young. Playing with my grandchildren makes me feel young again. I remember when my own children were that young and wanted to play all day with Mom. I remember all the fun we had and try to re-create this fun for my grandchildren. The world is different, toys are different, life is different. Fun never seems to change. Kids still enjoy a romp in the park. Moms still enjoy a coffee with a friend. Grandparents still enjoy looking at and bragging about their grandchildren.

So what does it mean to say we are getting older? It can mean many things. It means we have done some learning about relationships and no longer expect everyone to treat us with love like Mom did. It means we have many life experiences and now know so many more things than we did before. It means we have looked at people from many opportunities and learned what makes people tick. We have also learned that we cannot expect all people to tick the same way all the time. Now we can stop learning and be old, or we can do something new.

I believe we are as old as we want to be. I choose to be a lifelong learner. I choose to keep my brain always learning more new things. At least one new thing every day! To me that keeps me young. I do not choose to sit in a chair and watch the world go past. I do not choose to let the rest of my life be one of sitting and thinking about what might have been. I do not choose to allow myself the sadness of constantly wondering what else I might have done with my lifetime. I choose to continue to accomplish whatever I can with whatever time I have left. I choose to behave as if this is not the last day of my life, but the first of many more learning experiences I have yet to do.

I know that someday I will die. I choose to make death come running after me as long as I can keep going. I will not lie down and will myself to die because I am old in some people's opinion. I will keep chasing life's experiences for as long as I have breath in my body, for as long as my heart will beat, for as long as I choose to keep running forward towards more and better knowledge.

I am afraid of change, but not abandoning my search for it. Through change, even fearful change, there is knowledge and life. Live each day as deeply as you can. I will see you in our future.

Elouise

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